Nicole and Abiye

Coming to Africa Part 1: My Year of ‘Yes’

When my dad passed away, I knew I lost the man who loved me more than any man ever has. I remember listening to his heartbeat as a baby. His beat became my beat. And when he no longer had a physical presence on Earth, my life completely changed. The first thing that happened was I still felt his energy. Think of when you unplug a computer, but the cord still has power. The second thing that happened was people started appearing in my life and they started opening doors. Now, I’ve always been blessed with a great circle, but these new people immediately plugged into my dreams. They were like keys that knew which door to open. The third thing that happened, and I believe is the most important, was about me. I committed to saying Yes. Yes, to everything I always wanted to do and be. Yes, to living every moment with love, courage and confidence. Yes, to creating, giving and growing. When I said ‘Yes’ and kept saying ‘Yes,’ more beautiful opportunities and people kept showing up

One of the people who I said ‘Yes’ to in this Bossed-Out year is my fiancé, Abiye. We met 13 years ago at a chance encounter at the Charing Cross Station in London. We were going in different directions, but one look stopped both of us in our tracks. When we turned around to see if the other one was there, we were both met with a huge smile and a welcoming hello. Our love started, went deep and then went cold. At that time in our lives, we were saying yes to other things and people. For me, it was my career, a love affair with Harlem and another relationship I had to see through. And even though Abiye would say, ‘We are for the future’, I never thought in a million years that this love would come around again.

When we were apart, I did a lot of living. He did too. And when you do a lot of living, you do a lot of knowing. You gather wisdom. You become wisdom. You don’t need anyone to validate your movements. You just make them. You know that the minutes are precious. Because you know that every minute that your loved one is not there, there is a minute they would completely cherish if they had it back. Because you know that the minutes are where all off the magic are. Because you know that a minute can change everything.

“…Nigeria is about to get all of mine.
This journey of an American girl becoming
a Niger-wife and living a life of ‘Yes’ is a journey
with a new rhythm and a new heartbeat.”

The minute Abiye and I said ‘Yes’ to each other, we said ‘Yes’ to being Partners, Lovers and Life Long Friends. We said ‘Yes’ to raising a family together with joy and purpose. We said ‘Yes’ to building an empire together. We said ‘Yes’ to leaning on each other and having each other’s back. We said ‘Yes’ to investment in each other and commitment to each other. We said ‘Yes’ to divine purpose and soul-mate living. And we said ‘Yes’ to starting our lives together in Africa.

This series is about my journey to THE Continent. And although the Hollywood fictitious places of Zamunda (Coming to America) and Wakanda (Black Panther) have gotten our attention, Nigeria is about to get all of mine. This journey of an American girl becoming a Niger-wife and living a life of ‘Yes’ is a journey with a new rhythm and a new heartbeat. I look forward to sharing this journey with you.

I invite you all into the practice of saying ‘Yes.’ What would you say ‘Yes’ to if a key was presented at your door? We want to hear from you. Your stories will encourage our community. Join in. #BossLife #SayYes

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